Weigh in Update

So, the last couple of weeks I have maintained, which is fine considering the bad choices that I have made whilst, being away. I knew June would be a busy one, below is how it started and how it finished.

1. 9th June I travelled to Derby to stay in hotel
2. 10th June Download Festival, just for the day and another night in a hotel.
3. 12th June Take That at City of Manchester Stadium
4. 13th June Ice Skating with friends followed by tea and drinks
5. 16th June travel to Wolverhampton for Whitesnake gig and night in hotel
6. 17th June travel from Wolverhampton to Somerset, another night in a hotel
7. 18th June my friend's wedding and another night in a hotel

I have had lots of fun and no gain, however, I'm sure I could have put more effort into the choices I made and I am now struggling to get back on track.

In my most recent video I talk about things in my life not being the way I want them to be and how I plan to change it. I have decided there is no point sitting here moaning and feeling down about things that I am able to change or at least give it my best shot to change.

I have decided the number one thing that makes me feel down is the fact that I hate my job and with the fact that the job market is crap at the moment I am going to look into courses to improve my employability starting with looking at counselling. I have also signed up with plenty of job websites so fingers crossed I can change my work life soon.

My weight is a constant battle and I have realised I have to stop messing around. I want to start a family and I am going to be turning 29 in October so I really need to get on with losing the weight to have the best possible chance of getting pregnant.

Yesterday I started a paper diary to record what I do and eat during the day including my thoughts and feelings. Each week I will be selecting some quotes out of it to share.

Struggling

So I have been really struggling the past few weeks, in fact I've not really done anything to contribute to losing any weight. So here I am 3lbs heavier than I was four weeks ago, my target completely out of the window. So instead of this being a 'poor me, I'm so rubbish' post I'm going to explore what I've found out over the past four weeks.

1. I feel rubbish, I didn't think healthy eating was making me feel that much better, well, I knew it was a bit but didn't realise just how much difference it makes!

2. I cannot say no to food and still make bad choices when they are available.

3. I can't keep blaming everyday life events for my failures

So number one is obvious to everyone, that is, everyone but me. I am ready to start feeling better and knowing I'm making a differnce to my body.

Number twoI think I knew I would fail on this. I went to a conference at work and the breakfast was buffet style so I could have chosen wisely and had cereal and fruit or even pushed the boat out and had a continental style breakfast using my Healthy Exta A and Healthy Extra B. But no I choose to have sausage, egg, beans and black pudding with two slices of white bread all three mornings.

Number three is I have to realise the things I blame for me falling off the waggon are normal, a death of a grandparent is something most of us experience and the death of someone close is something everyone experiences at some point or another. Another thing that made me go off track was having my period I used this as an excuse to overindulge to make me feel less crappy, again this is something all women have to do. I went away with work, again another thing a lot of people do without going crazy over the buffet.

When away with work the keynote speech was by a guy who was so inspirational and used the word S.U.M.O which stands for shut up and move on which is exactly what I need to do. I need to shut up with my excuses and move on to become fab. If you get chance check out the website for the guy we had the keynote speech from as it has some of his videos on there and even though you don't get the full message like you would seeing the whole thing it will make you laugh and think http://www.thesumoguy.com/

Blah Blah week

Well my week has been blah blah. I cancelled my weigh in this week as I didn't want to feel any worse than I do. My Gran's death has affected me as I was so close to her. I sometimes don't know what to do with myself as I made sure I visited her at least once a week and when I went shopping (which has been a lot this week) I would call her to see if she wanted to come or if she wanted me to pick something up for her. It's her funeral on Tuesday so after that I will get back on track.

Dieting is so difficult sometimes especially when events out of your control can screw it up instantly. I still need to work on my coping skills. When I worked with people with drug and alcohol addictions and mental health problems, this is what we would often work with helping them to find new coping skills when their life wasn't going to plan. This week I have realised I have two ways of coping and that is either not eating or binging which obviously not great.

I'm currently working on a document about why I want to lose weight and when it's finished I will share with everyone as I feel this is going to be the best way to stay on track permanently is to make sure my goals are always realistic, achievable and I am reminded of them daily.

Hope everyone else is doing well, I have been keeping up-to-date ish on youtube videos and hope to start making my way through the comments this evening if work is quiet.